How would you feel if, after your end-of-year review, communication about your salary simply went silent? You would probably feel uncertain. Maybe undervalued. Definitely, not great

We all do it. We’re wired to process information, make sense of data, and interpret emotions in milliseconds. And most of the time, that’s helpful. It’s how we stay safe, move fast, and make decisions without getting stuck in analysis paralysis.

There’s a moment in every leader’s journey when theory meets reality, when all the training and intention in the world is tested by one emotionally charged conversation. I found myself in one of those moments many years ago.

My mother has always hated the gym. She’s a walker, disciplined, determined, and incredibly strong. Even at the age of 80, she still regularly walks 8 to 12 kilometres, three times a week. But 3 years ago, if you asked her to do a push-up, she would say “Absolutely not”. She didn’t see the point. She had her rhythm, and it worked for her -until it didn’t.

We’ve all likely experienced it. That moment in a meeting or conversation when you summon the courage to share an idea, voice a concern, or offer a different perspective—and it's dismissed, overshadowed, or subtly belittled. You sit back. You shrink a little. And next time, you think twice before speaking up again.

We’ve all done it. Walked into a tough conversation with our minds racing, our points lined up, and our focus locked on one thing: getting our message across. Maybe it was feedback you’d been putting off, a disagreement that had been simmering, or a decision you knew would be unpopular. And in that moment, the only thing that felt clear was your side of the story.