How Great Leaders Prune with Purpose—Feedback Shapes Growth, Not Just Performance

Giving constructive feedback is like pruning a tree so it can grow stronger and healthier. Done well, it clears the deadwood, directs energy where it’s most needed, and creates space for better outcomes. For leaders, feedback isn’t just a task—it’s a responsibility. When delivered with empathy and intention, it builds trust, sharpens clarity, and fuels growth.

I learned this firsthand with a former manager—someone widely respected, sharp, and well-intentioned. They had a habit of making light-hearted jokes in the workplace, including a recurring one: applying for storeperson roles as a joke, even when they were in a senior leadership position. It started years ago when they were part of the team; back then, it was seen as harmless fun. But after being promoted to Managing Director, they continued the joke—responding to internal job ads with mock applications visible to the entire organisation.

The issue? The context had changed. What once felt cheeky, and light now came across as inappropriate and tone-deaf from someone in a position of power. People were no longer laughing. Some felt uncomfortable. And worse, it began to subtly erode respect for the role and the person behind it. The senior leadership team recognised it but hesitated to say anything. Giving feedback "upward" can feel risky. But I knew it was necessary—for the sake of the culture, and for the individual.

One evening, while chatting after hours, I raised it gently. I acknowledged their intent—humour, connection, a bit of levity. But I also named the impact: that the joke no longer landed, that it was damaging their reputation, and that it should stop.

They received the feedback with grace. No defensiveness. No excuses. Just a quiet understanding that I was coming from a place of care, not criticism. That moment was a reminder of what feedback can be at its best: a bridge, not a wedge. When we trust the intent behind it, feedback strengthens relationships, rather than straining them.

And the data backs it up. According to Harvard Business Review (May 2024), employees who receive regular feedback—positive and constructive—are 3.6 times more likely to be engaged in their roles. Gallup reports that fast, specific feedback improves performance by nearly four times. People can’t grow without feedback. But not all feedback is created equal.

 

Poorly delivered feedback feels like criticism. It triggers defensiveness, sows self-doubt, and erodes confidence. When feedback lacks specificity or context, it breeds frustration. When there’s no chance to respond or clarify, it creates disengagement. And when it’s absent altogether, problems fester, performance stagnates, and people feel unseen.

As Bill Gates put it, “We all need people who will give us feedback. That's how we improve.”

Here are a few questions I often guide leaders to reflect on—before, during, and after giving feedback—to ensure the message lands with clarity, care, and impact:

Before Giving Feedback

1. What outcome do I want for them—not just the task?

   Keeps the focus on their growth, not just performance.

   
   

2. Am I calm, clear, and emotionally grounded enough to have this conversation?

   If not, it’s okay to pause. Delivery matters.

   
   

3. What’s really going on here—behaviour, impact, values, or a combination?

   Getting clear on the core issue prevents confusion and overreaction.

   
   

4. How might I have contributed to this dynamic?

   Leads with humility, not blame.

   
   

5. Is this the right time, space, and headspace—for both of us?

   The conditions you choose shape the outcome

 

During the Conversation

6.    Am I being specific and concrete—not vague or generalising? Clarity builds understanding and reduces defensiveness.

7.     Have I created space for their perspective, or am I doing all the talking? Feedback should be a conversation, not a monologue.

8.    Am I tying this back to our shared values, goals, or the bigger picture? Context creates meaning - and meaning inspires change.

 

After Giving Feedback

9.     Did they walk away feeling clear, supported, and empowered—not just corrected? Feedback should build confidence, not chip away at it.

10.  What follow-up or support might help reinforce this without micromanaging? Growth takes time —your ongoing presence matters.

 

So if you care about your team, don’t stay silent. Feedback is one of the most human, respectful, and growth-oriented actions a leader can take. And like pruning a tree, it may be uncomfortable in the moment—but it’s an act of long-term care.