For many leaders, performance management still feels like a necessary evil—a clunky system of forms, ratings, and year-end stress that’s more about compliance than connection. I’ve heard it all: “It takes too long,” “It’s too hard to be fair,” “I don’t know how to give feedback,” “Employees struggle to articulate their value.”

In every organization, performance conversations are unavoidable. Yet in too many workplaces, underperformance is ignored or brushed aside often because it feels uncomfortable, personal, or complex. But avoiding the issue doesn’t make it go away. In fact, it compounds the damage: to project outcomes, to team morale, and to the trust and credibility of leaders.

Joanne was one of my direct reports, a capable and experienced HR professional. Part of her role involved managing performance conversations and drafting formal warning letters. Like any good leader, I reviewed her letters before they went out—checking for tone, clarity, and accuracy. I’d often make small edits: tightening up a sentence, changing a word, adjusting the structure to be more formal or succinct.

After ten years of showing up—consistently, capably, and with deep commitment—my client was told, not asked, that she would need to carry the workload of two full-time accountants.

Having a tough conversation can feel like steering through rough waters—emotions run high, the direction isn’t always clear, and the stakes feel personal. But for leaders, these moments aren’t just part of the job—they shape it. This is where trust gets built or broken, and where your impact as a leader truly shows up.

I still remember the moment clearly, standing in front of the executive leadership team, presenting a new reward and recognition program. It didn’t feel like a high-stakes pitch at first, but I quickly realised how deeply personal this initiative was. It touched every employee in the business, and every senior leader had an opinion. I’d done the research. I’d collaborated widely through focus groups. I had a compelling story and data to back it up. What I didn’t expect was th