Communication gone wrong. How to get it right and save time and energy.

Mary Vie Ojerio
Jan 15
4 min read

Growing up, I saw communication style differences play out in real-time—under my very own roof. My dad is all about precision: budgets, spreadsheets, timelines, specific details. A logical, linear thinker who preferred certainty and careful planning – no risk taking or quick decisions. My mum, on the other hand, lived in possibility. Vision-driven, social, and spontaneous—she’d wave off questions about the details with a flick of her hand and say, “I don’t know, or I haven’t thought about that, and it’ll be fine.”

The contrast became especially clear during her 80th birthday celebration. She wanted the event at my sister’s house—a beautiful idea in theory, but when we asked about catering, guest dietary needs, or even a rough timeline, her responses were vague. Her vision was beautiful, but it lacked the structure and detail needed for a flawless execution. The menu for example - A spicy seafood paella with no alternatives for kids or non-seafood eaters. That’s where my sisters and I—planners and doers to our core—stepped in, filling in the gaps and making sure the party was not only heartfelt, but actually functional.

The lesson? Different communication styles aren’t a problem. Rigidly sticking to one style is.

Your Style Isn’t Universal—And That’s the Point

In today’s workplaces—where teams are cross-functional, multicultural, and multigenerational—assuming your communication style works for everyone is a fast track to confusion, friction, and disengagement.

Whether you're leading a team, working cross-functionally, or navigating organizational change, the ability to adapt how you communicate is one of the most valuable leadership skills you can develop. Not because you need to be someone you’re not—but because connection is built when we meet people where they are.

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart” Nelson Mandela

Why Flexibility Matters

When you adapt your communication style, you:

Reduce friction by speaking in ways your team can absorb.
Deepen trust by showing respect for how others think and process.
Increase your impact by making sure your message actually lands.

This isn’t about manipulation or performance—it’s about empathy. Emotional intelligence in action.

The Data Speaks for Itself

According to MIT Sloan Management Review (2022):

Poor communication was one of the top five reasons employees quit.
70% of employees said they’d be more loyal to a leader who communicated clearly and authentically.

Grammarly’s 2022 State of Business Communication report found:

63% said poor communication wastes time.
51% reported increased stress due to miscommunication.
41% said it decreased productivity.
35% reported a decline in job satisfaction.

And Gallup (2023) noted that managers who tailor communication to individuals’ needs saw:

15–20% higher employee engagement.
21% higher profitability.

In an environment driven by ambitious growth plans, accelerated innovation, and increasing pressure to boost both productivity and employee engagement—can leaders really afford not to flex their communication? The stakes are simply too high.

Understanding your communication style is like offering an operating manual for working with you. It sets clear expectations, builds trust, and helps others succeed alongside you. Without it, even the best strategies struggle to gain traction.

Here’s what happens when leaders don’t flex their communication style:

Erodes Trust and Connection
People feel unseen or misunderstood.
Increases Resistance
Communication misfires lead to pushback or disengagement.
Creates Frustration
Even shared goals get lost in translation.
Limits Influence
Great ideas fall flat when they don’t resonate.
Stalls Progress
Teams get stuck when they don’t “get” each other.
Undermines Morale
Decoding your message shouldn't feel like extra work.
Signals Low Self-Awareness
When leaders stick to one style, it can feel tone-deaf.

The Path to Better Communication Starts Here

1. Know Your Default Style

Self-awareness is the foundation. Tools like DISC, Insights, or MBTI can help—so can honest reflection.

Do you lead with feelings or facts?
Do you prefer detail or big picture?
Are you fast-paced or more methodical?

2. Observe Others

Look—and listen—for cues.

Do they crave detail or get overwhelmed by it?
Are they task-oriented or relationship-first?

3. Practice Empathic Listening

Don’t just wait your turn to talk. Tune into what’s being said and what’s being felt.

4. Flex—Don’t Fix

Adapting your style isn’t about losing your voice. It’s about amplifying it for the audience in front of you.

5. Ask for Feedback

Invite others into the conversation:

“How could I make that clearer?” “Would a different format work better next time?”

6. Match Message to Audience

Know when to go high-level, and when to zoom in.

Executives may want strategy and outcomes.
Analysts may want data and rationale.
Others may need context and emotional grounding.

7. Keep Practicing

This is a skill—not a checkbox. Flexing becomes more natural the more you do it.

Final Word

Adapting your communication style isn’t about diluting your message. It’s about making sure the people who matter most actually hear it.

Because at the end of the day, brave leadership isn’t just about having something important to say—it’s about saying it in a way that builds trust, sparks clarity, and brings people with you.

The lesson? Different communication styles aren’t a problem. Rigidly sticking to one style is.

Your Style Isn’t Universal—And That’s the Point

In today’s workplaces—where teams are cross-functional, multicultural, and multigenerational—assuming your communication style works for everyone is a fast track to confusion, friction, and disengagement.

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart” Nelson Mandela

Why Flexibility Matters

When you adapt your communication style, you:

Reduce friction by speaking in ways your team can absorb.

Deepen trust by showing respect for how others think and process.

Increase your impact by making sure your message actually lands.

This isn’t about manipulation or performance—it’s about empathy. Emotional intelligence in action.

The Data Speaks for Itself

According to MIT Sloan Management Review (2022):

Poor communication was one of the top five reasons employees quit.

70% of employees said they’d be more loyal to a leader who communicated clearly and authentically.

Grammarly’s 2022 State of Business Communication report found:

63% said poor communication wastes time.

51% reported increased stress due to miscommunication.

41% said it decreased productivity.

35% reported a decline in job satisfaction.

And Gallup (2023) noted that managers who tailor communication to individuals’ needs saw:

15–20% higher employee engagement.

21% higher profitability.

In an environment driven by ambitious growth plans, accelerated innovation, and increasing pressure to boost both productivity and employee engagement—can leaders really afford not to flex their communication? The stakes are simply too high.

Understanding your communication style is like offering an operating manual for working with you. It sets clear expectations, builds trust, and helps others succeed alongside you. Without it, even the best strategies struggle to gain traction.

Here’s what happens when leaders don’t flex their communication style:

Erodes Trust and Connection

People feel unseen or misunderstood.

Increases Resistance

Communication misfires lead to pushback or disengagement.

Creates Frustration

Even shared goals get lost in translation.

Limits Influence

Great ideas fall flat when they don’t resonate.

Stalls Progress

Teams get stuck when they don’t “get” each other.

Undermines Morale

Decoding your message shouldn't feel like extra work.

Signals Low Self-Awareness

When leaders stick to one style, it can feel tone-deaf.

The Path to Better Communication Starts Here

1. Know Your Default Style

Self-awareness is the foundation. Tools like DISC, Insights, or MBTI can help—so can honest reflection.

Do you lead with feelings or facts?

Do you prefer detail or big picture?

Are you fast-paced or more methodical?

2. Observe Others

Look—and listen—for cues.

Do they crave detail or get overwhelmed by it?

Are they task-oriented or relationship-first?

3. Practice Empathic Listening

Don’t just wait your turn to talk. Tune into what’s being said and what’s being felt.

4. Flex—Don’t Fix

Adapting your style isn’t about losing your voice. It’s about amplifying it for the audience in front of you.

5. Ask for Feedback

Invite others into the conversation:

“How could I make that clearer?” “Would a different format work better next time?”

6. Match Message to Audience

Know when to go high-level, and when to zoom in.

Executives may want strategy and outcomes.

Analysts may want data and rationale.

Others may need context and emotional grounding.

7. Keep Practicing

This is a skill—not a checkbox. Flexing becomes more natural the more you do it.

Final Word

Adapting your communication style isn’t about diluting your message. It’s about making sure the people who matter most actually hear it.

Because at the end of the day, brave leadership isn’t just about having something important to say—it’s about saying it in a way that builds trust, sparks clarity, and brings people with you.

Comments